Am I a Crossdresser or Transgender ?staff
Am I A Crossdresser or Transgender ?
The question ‘Am I a Crossdresser or Transgender’ is a topic that most people who dress as a woman ask themselves and it can be a confusing subject and a difficult one to talk about.
So, here goes, when are you just crossdressing for fun and when do you know you are actually transgender. This question actually bothered me for quite a while during in my early life, so I thought, the best way to tackle this question is to tell you about my own situation and maybe somewhere you can identify with it.
I started to cross-dress from around the age of 13, I always just thought it was cross-dressing, it was fun and it turned me on, I don’t know how it started but I had the urge to wear women’s underwear and then it just grew from there to wanting to wear all aspects of women’s clothing and accessories.
During my teen years I was pretty much embarrassed about my cross-dressing and I remained in the closet to friends and family. In those days I really only dressed at home.
When I got my own place to live my crossdressing started to step up a gear, it was such a relief to now have the freedom of living alone. I began venturing out the house and then traveling further afield exploring my cross-dressing hobby. I should quickly mention that my newly found confidence was in part helped by the stepping out program which was really useful for me in perfecting my female persona and making first contact with other cross-dressers.
I finally came out to my friends and family when I was about 21, some 8 years into my cross-dressing journey. To my surprise all my closest friends were very supportive and pleased that I had the confidence and trust in them to confide my cross-dressing secret. My family were not enamored by the news but having told them was a big weight off my mind, they would later be very supportive in my transgender transition some years later.
Crossdressing quickly immersed all aspects of my life, I was so excited and happy going out to LGBT bars, clubs, pride events, crossdresser holidays and basically trying to cross-dress at every opportunity. I was like a women possessed, I just could not get enough of looking amazing and feeling like a woman, began to feminize my voice, studied makeup techniques and buying lots of it, I was trying to be the best looking female I could and felt that I was doing a pretty good job of it.
“Now I was able to finally embrace my inner feelings and identity as a women encompassed so many amazing feelings; crazy, exciting, fun and rewarding. I guess that best way to describe how I was feeling was like winning the lottery or being a child in a sweet shop.”
It’s so much fun just recalling my crossdressing days, and I am smiling whilst writing, but without digressing, I feel that I should talk about my turning point into my transgender transition as this will help answer the big question of this article; ‘cross-dresser or transgender’?
In my mid-twenties things started to change a little bit, my feelings started getting a bit confusing and my cravings to be a full-time woman started to get me thinking about my life and made me question my gender identity.
This is when the transgender question raised its head; Am I a Crossdresser or Transgender? – I felt that I had maxed out my cross-dressing phase but now I had an overwhelming want to be a full-time woman. However, for some people the cross-dressing part of their life just fades away and being trans never is an issue for them, unlike others including myself that get strong feelings and symptoms of gender dysphoria.
“Many of my friends are simply happy to cross-dress and never reach a stage of wanting to undergo transgender transition.”
So began the investigation and journey into becoming a full-time women, for me I had my sights set on being transgender, little did I know that this would lead me down a long and winding path with many ups and downs.
I had now seemingly crossed a line and although I felt free in myself through my choice to become a transgender female, it seemed there was no big welcome to the land of freedom, it felt like I was rather alone.
You may still be asking yourself “what does being transgender mean”? also further questions like “how does someone tell if they’re transgender”?, is being a a transvestite the same thing as being a cross-dresser?, what does it mean to want a “sex change”?, and so it goes on.
I don’t really want to go much further on the topic of my transgender transition as it is diverging from the question of “Am I a crossdresser or transgender female“?. The thing I would mention is that if you are unsure about possibly being trans then do a bit of online research on the topic of transgender transition or gender identity, also try and read the transgender guidebook, by Anne L Boedecker PhD (Author), as it comes widely recommended by many trans people.
If like me you are unsure and confused about any of the questions above then you’re not alone. Many professionals can’t even come to a consensus about some of the definitions contained within the subjects of transgenderism, this is my conclusion; “A state or condition in which a person’s identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional ideas of male or female gender.”
So, after talking to cross-dresser and transgender friends they all seem to come to the conclusion of either being happy remaining to cross-dress or actually having to pursue transgender transition.
My actual conclusion to the big question, and many of my cross dresser and transgender friends, is that many people are more than happy to simply cross-dress and never reach a stage of wanting to undergo transgender transition.
So, the best way to really find out if you are a cross-dresser or in fact transgender is just to follow your own journey, and listen to your heart, wherever it may take you, be happy and confident and enjoy your experiences.
During my own stages of my crossdessing journey I found a lot of helpful information and resources on the internet, including the ‘stepping out secrets program’, which helped me become the confident woman that I always wanted to be.
Carla Joyce (Guest Writer)
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